10. You've seen him run medical instruments through the dishwasher.
9. The top three numbers on his speed-dial are a lawyer, a bookie, and a bail bondsman.
8. His neighbors are always wondering who puts the red biohazard bags in the dumpster.
7. He deducts his pornography collection from his income tax as an educational expense.
6. Every hooker in town knows him on a first-name basis.
5. He says he went to Harvard, but gets the alumni newsletter from the Autonomous University of Guadalajara Medical School.
4. He keeps a stock of blue exam pads in the back seat of his car.
3. He's always ducking out the back door to avoid process servers.
2. He gives you chocolate-covered Percocet for Valentine's Day.
And the number one sign your boyfriend is an abortionist:
1. He has sex with you first, then slips you a mickey.
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