Massachusetts Woman in Self-Abortion Case Talks About Her Actions
Amber Abreu, the Massachusetts woman who gave birth to a premature infant who later died, as a result of taking illegally-obtained abortion drugs, has spoken out about her experience. The child, who Amber named Ashley, was born on January 6, at 25 weeks of gestation, weighing 1.25 pounds. (This is one week past the legal cut-off for elective abortions in Massachusetts.) The baby died four days later.
"If I could turn back the clock, I would do things differently," Abreu told the Eagle Tribune newspaper in an interview. "Those people who judge me don't know what I'm feeling inside."
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"This is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I pray that one day, she (Ashley) can forgive me for making this decision.?"
Amber had orginally been charged with murder in Ashley's death, but those charges have been dropped.
Abreu said she was scared and confused when she found out she was pregnant and she got the ulcer drug Cytotec, which is also known as misoprostol, from a friend who had visited the Dominican Republic, where she is from, and that she took them over a period of three days.
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"I was in shock when they told me at the hospital I was having the baby," she told the newspaper ....
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"I felt bad because I knew she was suffering," Abreu told the Eagle Tribune about her daughter's death. "I felt guilty for what I had done. At that moment, I'd have done anything to let her live."
"I was hysterical when she died. I hugged her and kissed her," she indicated.
I've seen it again and again that as soon as the woman sees the baby -- be it expelled alive or dead -- she is bowled over with anguish and remorse. I wish people would talk to these women before they get their panties in a twist about showing women ultrasounds or pictures of fetal development prior to their abortions. When is it best to see what the entity being killed looks like? When it's too late? Or when the woman can still change her mind and let her baby live?
11 comments:
I really feel for Amber. I will pray for her. Her case is awful.
(But every case is different -- some of us see our expelled embryos and are simply ecstatic that we`re no longer pregnant!)
some of us see our expelled embryos and are simply ecstatic that we`re no longer pregnant!
You can understand how appallingly callous that sounds to somebody who sees a human death in every abortion.
Quite honestly, no, I don`t -- especially since it was very early, not at all wanted and I did nothing to cause its death. It was simply nature taking its course -- nothing "callous" about it at all. I will never understand why some people get so angry that I wasn`t the least bit sad. Not every lost pregnancy is mourned -- or should be.
L., there's a difference between having little or no emotional response and being actively joyful.
L wrote:
Quite honestly, no, I don`t -- especially since it was very early, not at all wanted and I did nothing to cause its death.
You're right. You don't understand.
Let me be blunt: You had a child. That child died from natural causes. You rejoiced over the body of your dead child. Christina finds that a little disturbing, and I agree with her.
You have always said -- on this blog and on my old blog -- that you truly believe in the humanity of the unborn child. Your pro-choice beliefs supposedly come from a commitment to women's rights, which you believe to surpass the unborn child's right to life.
If that is still true ... if you do still believe that unborn children are human beings ... let me ask the following: Would you be sad if one of your born children died from natural causes? If so, why? If not, why not?
The fundamental truth of the pro-life position is that your "expelled embryo" was ontologically the same as if Little Son were to die of a childhood disease. They are both children, and they should both be mourned.
This does not mean that all children should be mourned the same. The exact nature and circumstances of the mourning will be different in each individual case. A woman who miscarries will have much less emotional attachment to her unborn child than a woman who has to watch her six-year-old die from leukemia. Also, a miscarriage could be complicated by the woman's strong desire to not be pregnant, as yours was. But none of those points change the basic truth that we should mourn our children when they die.
Let me hasten to add that I'm not trying to make you feel bad, nor am I trying to encourage you to mourn for your miscarriage out of some odd sense of obligation. I am merely trying to point out that you really don't "get" the pro-life position. I know that you were raised pro-life, but I don't think it worked. :(
Naaman, I think I "get" the pro-life position and I was once pro-life myself -- but I obviously no long believe it.
I don`t think the death of every person should be mourned, depending on the circumstances. When my 90-year-old grandmother dies, I will also be truly happy -- that she is finally free from the grip of her advanced dementia. I think people`s feelings toward a death depend entirely on the circumstances.
And if we make "mourning" the default emotion for all miscarriages, Hallmark will sell a lot of cards, since 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in one (1 in 3, for women of my age).
How is the littlest Naaman? How are you? We`ve missed you! :)
L commented:
Naaman, I think I "get" the pro-life position and I was once pro-life myself -- but I obviously no long believe it.
If you still "get" the pro-life position, then you should understand why Christina & I are dismayed that you could rejoice over a miscarriage. I'm not saying you have to agree with us -- obviously you don't -- but you should understand why we feel the way we do. So far, your posts are indicating that you don't understand. Therefore, I don't think that you "get" it. Maybe you "got" it once, but you have lost the understanding that you once had.
I don`t think the death of every person should be mourned, depending on the circumstances. When my 90-year-old grandmother dies, I will also be truly happy -- that she is finally free from the grip of her advanced dementia. I think people`s feelings toward a death depend entirely on the circumstances.
I didn't actually say that the death of every person should be mourned. I said that the death of every child should be mourned....
However, I do believe that there's mourning in every death. However, the circumstances of some death mean that the mourning occurs well before the actual moment of passing. In your grandmom's case, I suspect that you've been mourning her gradually as her condition has deteriorated.
When my grandmother died last year after a precipitous decline in her health, I did grieve at her passing. But most of my mourning had already been done. When she did pass away, I felt some sorrow ... but my primary emotion was relief for her. She is with the Lord now, and there is no more pain for her.
And if we make "mourning" the default emotion for all miscarriages, Hallmark will sell a lot of cards, since 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in one (1 in 3, for women of my age).
Not every emotional event needs a cheesy greeting card, y'know. ;)
Seriously, I'm not sure I understand your objection here. Grief is a natural part of life. Death is a natural part of life. We should not try to deny it or hide it.
L added:
How is the littlest Naaman? How are you? We`ve missed you! :)
All the Naamans are doing well, thanks. We're homeschooling now, which is a big change. :)
However, I don't want to tie up Christina's blog with spammy stuff. Feel free to email me for any pertinent details: naaman4life -at- gmail -dot- com
(Yes, it's a new address. I deleted the old address -- and all of my saved contacts -- when I took down my old blog.)
I agree that grief is a natural part of life, death is a natural part of life, and that we should not try to deny it or hide it -- but that it is perfectly fine not to feel it at all, depending on the circumstances. Relief -- even joy -- at the end of an unwanted pregnancy is also a natural part of life, a natural reaction, for many women. I am far from unique!
"I" said: "I did nothing to cause its death."
I think that is a really important point that has been glossed over. It's completely understandable to me that a woman who sees her embryo after a miscarriage will feel differently than one who had an abortion. There is no guilt, no personal responsibility, no need for regret (unless it's irrational regret). It is a completely different experience.
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