Saturday, June 13, 2009

A Tiller patient expresses her regret

My Darkest Hour

We already had a son. He was almost two years old. We were ecstatic to be having another baby. The whole time I was pregnant I was envisioning what it would be like to have 2 beautiful babies. I couldn’t wait!

... When I was about 31 weeks pregnant, my obstetrician sent me for a series of tests. .... Finally, after about two weeks we were told the most devastating news. Our precious daughter had a chromosomal abnormality and would probably not live long, if she lived at all. If she did survive, she would suffer terribly and need numerous surgeries to correct the muscular and skeletal problems she would inevitably have. She would also be severely mentally disabled.

We were devastated. I was totally numb. I believe that I went into shock. I distinctly remember the perinatologist wanting to discuss our “options”. I thought she would tell us what doctors needed to be in the delivery room. Instead she suggested a “choice” I didn’t even know existed. She proposed that we go to Kansas to terminate the pregnancy. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. My first reaction was “noooooo!!!!!!!”. Of course I didn’t speak this out loud- I couldn’t speak at all. I just sat there with this evil seed planted in my brain.

It was quite plain to infer what the doctors wanted us to do. .... They couldn’t answer with certainty what exactly was in store for our little girl; they just knew it would be a life filled with pain. Did we really want this kind of life for our cherished little girl? Time was of the essence. You see I was due any day and we had to make a decision immediately. I can hardly remember any details from the moment we left the doctors’ office until the fateful flight to Kansas where our beloved daughter was destroyed. ....

.... I have no doubt that those two doctors who sent me to Kansas felt they were doing what was best. .... While I was in Kansas I came in contact with Evil. Everything about the clinic was deceptive. The pictures they take and the way they try so hard to make what you’re doing seem like your losing your baby naturally. ....


A similar story of regret from the UK is here.

Cara chose an induction abortion because she believed the doctors when they told her there was no chance of her baby surviving.

8 comments:

Tlaloc said...

It sounds like she's regrets getting an abortion but is looking to blame others for her decision. How fortunate for her that she has a nice target to blame her actions upon.

Tiller didn't cause the problem with her pregnancy. He didn't diagnose it. He didn't force her to fly to Kansas and get an abortion. She got one because she wanted it at the time. And now she's free to blame the doctor who helped her, but in her infinite wisdom other women don't deserve the same choice she had.

Very easy to only deny others the very same thing you allowed yourself.

GrannyGrump said...

Ah, so we're never to admit to making a mistake, lest we deprive others of the joy of making that same mistake!

If you kill somebody in a drunk driving accident, don't be a hypocrite and urge others not to drink and drive! It's wrong to deny others the same thing you allowed yourself!

If you went to gay bathhouses and never used condoms and got AIDS as a result, do NOT urge others at the bathhouses to use condoms! It's wrong to deny others the same thing you allowed yourself!

If you let your kids play in the lake unattended and one of them drowned, do NOT speak out against leaving children unattended in water. It's wrong to deny others the same thing you allowed yourself!

Gotcha.

GrannyGrump said...

This is fun. I can think of a million of 'em --

If you were playing with a loaded gun and accidentally shot your friend, don't be a hypocrite and preach gun safety! It's wrong to deny others the same thing you allowed yourself!

If you partied all semester instead of studying and failed all your finals, don't be a hypocrite and urge your friends to study. It's wrong to deny others the same thing you allowed yourself!

If you kept your cleaning supplies sitting out conveniently on the kitchen counter and your toddler drank Drano and died, don't go around trying to push childproof cupboard latches on people! It's wrong to deny others the same thing you allowed yourself.

Tlaloc said...

"Ah, so we're never to admit to making a mistake, lest we deprive others of the joy of making that same mistake!"

2 answers-
1) by all means admit *your* mistake but do not assume it is then a mistake for all.

To take your drunk driver example- if they then lobby to make alcohol illegal just because they had a problem that's not right. They should abstain, but not everyone is as irresponsible as your drunkard.

2) by means also state your opinion but if you seek to make illegal the same thing you indulged in expect some pretty reasonable charges of hypocrisy.

Some time ago Keith Richards made a statement that kids shouldn't do drugs. Given the unbelievable amount of drugs Keith did it's no surprise that people found this more ironic than wise.

Rachael C. said...

Tlaloc, so it's ok for doctors and relatives to badger and scare woman into abortions because abortion is legal?

Rachael C. said...

Because this is what is happening. Just read the story of most any woman carrying to term with a poor prenatal diagnosis, and you'll find women being pressured into an abortion by doctors (afraid of wrongful birth suits or just prejudiced against developmentally disabled individuals) and well-meaning family members.

Rachael C. said...

And how is coercion a free "choice"? Tiller was just as much of an accessory as these doctors in the coercion and pressure and reassurance to terminate, after all Tiller wasn't being paid for women to carry to term.

Tlaloc said...

"Tlaloc, so it's ok for doctors and relatives to badger and scare woman into abortions because abortion is legal?"

Where did I say that? I disagree in general with badgering people into things.

That said the linked story doesn't sound like the woman was badgered at all.



"Because this is what is happening. Just read the story of most any woman carrying to term with a poor prenatal diagnosis, and you'll find women being pressured into an abortion by doctors (afraid of wrongful birth suits or just prejudiced against developmentally disabled individuals) and well-meaning family members."

If you think this story involved coercion we have two very different understandings of the word.



"And how is coercion a free "choice"?"

Wait, coercion is about putting emotional pressure upon a person, but that person still can say "no." It is still a choice on their part. This woman could have decided to carry to term and deal with the consequences. She chose not to. But unfortunately instead of dealing with the consequences she's chosen to blame others for her choice.



"Tiller was just as much of an accessory as these doctors in the coercion and pressure and reassurance to terminate, after all Tiller wasn't being paid for women to carry to term."

Bull. A woman came to Tiller with a medical problem and asked him to fix it. He did so. You imagine coercion when this woman flew cross country to get a service from this doctor.