Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Addictive strongholds: Sexuality

In Sunday's scripture, we looked at how to wage war spiritually against the strongholds keeping abortion practice thriving, while women suffer and their children die.

Today we'll look at another area that is allowing abortion, not families, to thrive: habitual or addictive strongholds.

Let's look again at 2 Corinthians 10:3, 4, 5:

King James Bible
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

In particular, I want to look again at the word translated "strongholds" (Ochuroma a castle, stronghold, fortress, fastness; anything on which one relies, of the arguments and reasonings by which a disputant endeavours to fortify his opinion and defend it against his opponent) and the word translated "imaginations" (Logismos: a reckoning, computation; a reasoning: such as is hostile to the Christian faith; a judgment, decision: such as conscience passes).

Think of a stronghold as an entrenched idea that is holding the person prisoner. And we know how addiction to drugs or alcohol can keep a person prisoner. And the idea of a sex addiction has been creeping into people's awareness. I'd like to look at this idea of sexual addiction a bit.

An addiction, by definition, can never satisfy; it only drives the person for more of the thing he or she is addicted to.

I'll go to one of the blog posts that brings my blogs the most page views: How to induce a miscarriage herbally (and safely). If you read the comments there, you don't get a picture of women leading rich, satisfying lives:

I am almost 44 and going through a divorce and custody battle over 2 little girls. In a flash with a man I conceived (I think he sneezed in my direction) and cannot believe I am going through this at my age!

We all know you don't get pregnant from getting sneezed on. This woman had sex with a man she had so little relationship with that she described the act as him sneezing in her direction.

I was at a friends party on the 16 june and i passed out waking up to my friends asking me if i remebered last nigh. Well apparently I had sex with someone and he said he does not remember if he wore a condom...and i dont even remeber at all.....so yeah I am married and stationed overseas with my husband who i love to death and i cant tell him this....

Getting drunk until you pass out and being raped while unconscious.

my ex-boyfriend is abusive and i refuse to carry his child simply b/c i will be stuck with him 4 the rest of my life! i already have a daughter and i never want to give him the chance to start hitting her. so im not having this DAMN BABY!

Sucked into a relationship with an abusive man, to the point where she's still having sex with him even though he's hurting her and a threat to her daughter.

But i havent taken a pregnancy test because i live with my boyfriend and he keeps a close eye on me. He is very abusive and controling and i lack going anywhere outside of the yard.

Another woman stuck in an abusive relationship.

I shouldn't have had sex if I didn't want to get preggers, but there you go and here I am!

Her biological drives overrode the thinking, choosing part of her and she ended up pregnant when she didn't want to be.

Here we have a man chiming in on behalf of another sad woman:

Ive been seeing a very nice lady and ofc have had sex. She is getting her 3rd divorce and all of them have been abusive :( . She already has 6 children and dont need another one while she is going through her divorce. Im divorced with 3 children and a grandson of my own.

A woman who seems to be addicted to relationships with bad men.

I am in a very stressed relatioship with one child and I recently found out i was pregnant. I don't want to have anther child. Before I could explain this to my boyfriend, he told everyone. I feel stuck. I don't want everyone to know that I had an abortion so I deceided to use the vitamin C at first then I incorparated Dong Quai but stopped only after two doses. I found this website and I feel encouraged. I have continued the Vitamin C and just started the parsley insert and will drink the infusion soon. Please pary for me and my family. I am a student in college and workk full time. I don't spend enough time with my first child.

Again, sex in what she knows is an untenable situation. She knows it will lead to heartache. But she can't see living without the sex so she copes again and again with the consequences.

And this is just one site. Read prochoice sites and you will see the common thread of women in miserable, unsatisfying relationships, or no relationships at all, but they're unable to hold back from submitting sexually to their urges. They're trapped in a relentless cycle of sex that brings no intimacy, only panic and stress, increased risk of STDs and the long-range risks of these (including cancer and death), pregnancy scares and pregnancies they don't feel they can cope with.

The picture is even more bleak if you go behind the doors of an abortion clinic. I listened to the lamentations of abortion clinic nurses who were unable to help their patients abstain from sex while healing from their abortions. These patients were in "relationships" -- I hate to dignify their situations by using such a word -- with men who would not tolerate abstaining from sex while the women recovered. Not taking "no" for an answer when seeking sex from a woman has a name: RAPE. These women were submitting to unwanted sex -- unprotected sex, since the men in question refused to wear condoms -- regularly and frequently. Men who were walking petri dishes of STDs, since they were also having unprotected intercourse with other women. And it never occurred to the nurses caring for these women -- and I believe the nurses really did care -- to refer to rape crisis, to a battered women's shelter, to in any way suggest that these women deserved better in their lives.

Which shows how the sexual addiction stronghold is a societal one as well as a personal one. Our society teaches in a thousand ways, some subtle and some blatant, that you are nobody unless somebody's screwing you. Better a dissatisfying, shallow, pointless sexual encounter -- one that leaves you emotionally damaged, infected with an incurable disease, and pregnant with no supportive partner -- than no sexual encounter at all. We live in a society where the greatest compliment you can pay a person is not to say that he or she is strong, diligent, virtuous, patient, pleasant, prudent, or anything else of any actual value. The greatest complement is to say somebody is "hot" -- that their very presence incites lust. Is it any wonder that even believers have sexual addiction strongholds in their personal lives?

If we step back, we can see the handiwork of the Father of Lies. Satan teaches that sexual licentiousness is "healthy" -- when even a cursory glance reveals a world of STDs. Satan teaches that it is possible -- nay, even desirable -- to totally divorce sexuality from procreation and pair bonding. But it's the very idea that sex and procreation can be separated that leads to problems with side effects from contraceptives, and to unintended pregnancies -- which have increased, not decreased, since the contraceptive culture has become entrenched in society. Satan teaches that sexual restraint is impossible -- yet everybody at some point practices it. Those reading this blog are not indulging their sexual appetites at the moment. It's possible to live a lifetime of moments in which the sexual appetites are put aside and more appropriate urges satisfied -- the desire to eat, sleep, learn, play, accomplish, and love.

Until we battle spiritually with the strongholds of sexual addiction in society and in our own lives, we will continue to see broken hearts and broken bodies. We need to first of all be removing these strongholds in our own lives. Are we using sex to try to fill a void that it simply can't fill? Or are we being chaste, whether married or single? (For to be chaste is not to be celibate -- to be chaste is to put sexuality in its proper context, which is different for a single person than for a married person.) Are we teaching those in our churches how to be chaste? Are we building a society that values people for something other than that they incite lust?

Then, having removed the beams from our own eyes, we need to frequently and do spiritual battle against these societal strongholds through prayer. Develop the habit of praying when presented with the omnipresent signs of sexual strongholds in our society.


Gapper said...

Thanks for this post, and your whole blog site. Having just joined the ranks of volunteers at a center that offers pregnancy tests,ultrasounds to women who test + for pregnancy, STD testing and counseling, I can tell you, more centers like these are needed, and more blogs like yours too! The women I've seen, just during my training-well it's heartbreaking. Most of them have little or no self-worth, some are so surprised and thankful at being treated with dignity. Most don't even realize they have options other than abortion. Thanks for spreading the WORD-(double meaning!:)

Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden said...

02 24 09

My Lord! You broke down this issue in a very eloquent and concise manner. Thanks very much!

My father always lamented at the 'safe sex' campaigns because he said that it encouraged the type of behavior that would get people in trouble in the first place, then reinforced it. We have had an invasion of these attitudes that somehow got conflated with words like personal choice and equal rights. I never understood why we vilify murderers but not abortionists. Now I see that this is a wide spread spiritual issue in our society. Thanks for your honesty here.

Tonal Bliss said...

Very well said Christina. I totally agree with this blog post. Personally, I am a virgin. I will be getting married this summer. Be patient and controlling our sexual urges have made us as individuals and as a couple stronger and better.

I especially like the part of the post that said that we should enjoy more appropriate urges... food! :)

Lilliput said...

Hi Christina

Its been a while since I posted here because you decided not to allow anonymous comments anymore - I'm not sure why. Hopefully this will be able to get through.

I enjoyed reading your post and believe you have a very interesting point but I just want to add to the discussion by pointing out that it is in fact the bible and therefore religion that started this dependance of women on having a man. According to the bible, Eve was created from Adam and for Adam and therefore it doesn't take much to see how these women with no sense of self never mind self esteem get hooked into bad relationships with men. It is only through decades of feminisim where women have fought for the ability to stand on their own financially, intellectually and socially that they don't have to stand for that abuse anymore.

Trust me, I don't think they are getting turned on by a man who rapes and abuses them, rather they are trapped in a situation where they need him to pay the bills, protection or they don't want to be alone. Its about lack of education and opportunity not an addiction to sex that's causing their misery. If you are on a long term contraceptive eg the injection or the coil - you can have sex 24/7 and not fall pregnant. The question is - why aren't they using contraception and I'd love your answer to that.

Gapper said...

You are right that it is lack of education-but it's lack of knowledge of the Bible! Eve was not created for Adam, she was created to COMPLETE Adam, and she is God's crowning glory-He saved the best for last! She is to be his PARTNER, not his servant. The two together complete each other, and are a picture of God incarnate-made in God's own image. Each brings special attributes to the union-and neither is complete without the other. SHE gives birth to man! Without her there is no procreation. Just as she gives life to man, he is to give life to her-by protecting her-as he is the physically stronger of the 2-that is his gift back to her. God is wise, man is foolish. When we follow mans illogical, self-glorifying rules, instead of God's all loving rules, we end up in a vicious cycle of death. A picture of our present culture! I urge you to study your Bible, it's all in there! Ask God for eyes to see, and he'll give them to you. When we stop trying to self-promote, and listen, learn and follow Gods way, His perfect will for our lives is revealed-and there is no more destruction and murder. Try it-it's all true!

Lilliput said...

Gapper my love, I am actually Jewish, and have had 13 years of religious education of the Bible in its original Hebrew language so even though I am by no means an expert, I do remember this part as it really frustrated me as a woman. The Hewbrew word is " Ezer Knegdo" a helper opposite him and yes men and women do compliment each other because we are opposites but this difference can also cause many issues - a lot of them coming out now that women have more power in society.

I don't know which Bible you are refering to but in the old testament, men had more then one wife and that always and still does puzzle me about this romantic vision you have of two halfs of a soul becoming one. In the new testament, Jesus doesn't marry and even though I don't know about the other Disciples - I wonder why Priests and nuns remain celibate?

The point of my post was that its not unbridled lust that leads these poor women into their horrible situations, but their lack of emancipation from the strong male thats supposed to - as you put it protect them.

Furthermore, having read the bible, I don't know how you can still have this romantic picture you describe. Men are born to spread their seed and that's why they had wives, concubines and maidservants and women are in the unenviable position of trying to fayhom which one of them is going to be the best provider for her children. Truely, I don't know what G-d was thinking?

Gapper said...

Lilliput, I read your reply last night and wanted to pray for your salvation before I answered. I am no Bible expert either, and am asking even now for God to give me the words. Also-this blog is about abortion, not salvation. I'm not sure Christina will appreciate me getting so off subject-but here goes!

Man is fallen, that's why so many men in the Old Testament have multiple wives. They were disobeying God and His intent for man. It started in the garden when the father of lies (Satan) approached Eve, lured her into thinking God had lied to her-and she ate the forbidden fruit. Where was Adam during this encounter? No one knows as the Bible doesn't tell us-but he should have been there-protecting her-and the whole thing might not have happened. Man has fallen farther and farther ever since. Just when you think man cannot go any lower, God destroys them because of their sin-BUT He always leaves a righteous remnant, as in the days of Noah, Sodom and Gommorha (sp?) and on through the Bible. Men are fallible, you even see it through King David, God's beloved King of Jerusalem, from whose seed the Messiah descended. David was very sinful, committing lust, adultery and murder-for which God punished him. But He also honored David because of the covenant He had made with Abraham generations before, and because David was so obedient.

When The Christ (Messiah) was finally born, lived a sinless life and died on the Cross to atone for our sins, then rose again from death-He conquered death for ALL of us for ALL TIME.It is the very picture of the Groom, saving His bride! Jesus never married, because WE are His bride-and someday soon He will return for us! He wants us to accept His gift and become His bride. We do that by realizing we are sinners, and accepting Him as Messiah and the fact that He died for us-to save us from our sins! What He wants most from us is for us to show Him love in return by being obedient to the laws He laid out in Scripture! It IS the story of the Sacred Romance. God's love story for man. Scripture itself is God breathed-they very breath of life! That's why it is as relevant today as it was when written 2000 years ago. He won't force His will onto us, we must accept His will through a concious act of giving ourselves over to Him. Yes man is fallen-sinful from birth, and why Jesus was born of a virgin, and the seed of the Holy Spirit. Believing Jesus is Messiah does not make you less Jewish-it makes you a Messianic Jew! I urge you to take an Alpha course. You should be able to find one at a Christian church, or perhaps on-line! Study Him, find out why He says it's wrong to kill our babies in the womb. Just as Abel's blood cried out to God after he was murdered by Cain.(Gen 4:12) The innocent blood of millions of aborted baby's cry out to God for atonement.He will answer soon! He never fails. I pray that you see He is pursuing you, and that you pursue Him in return! He wants your heart and soul for all eternity. Stop fighting against men and yield to God, and your eyes will be opened to the truth of how much God loves you-loves us all! Born and pre-born, sinner and saved.

There you have it, my imperfect answer. Only God can fill in all the blanks, and He will if you ask Him. It doesn't come all at once though-He reveals Himself a little at a time through each step of faith we take in His direction. Don't look down! because that is where man abides-keep your eyes fixed on Him and keep on going. Many Blessings!

Lilliput said...

Gapper, thank you for the prayers, its always good to have someone whisper your name to the almighty - no matter what name they attach to G-d.

Tell me, what happened to Jesus once he was resurrected - someone asked me that the other day and I didn't know?

Gapper said...

He ascended to Heaven where He sits at the right hand of the Father! But not before revealing Himself to many of his followers. Did you know He first revealed Himself to 2 women? The least of society then too. He also petitioned His disciples to go into all the world and preach the good news of His coming, and He instructed them to stay together in prayer, locked in a room together, until He sent His Holy Spirit to them. The Holy Spirit indwells EVERYONE who accepts Christ as messiah, and the atonement for their sins. His body was different than His first body, but His disciples were able to touch Him. Thomas,(the doubter), the disciple who'd said he wouldn't believe Christ had risen from the dead until he saw Christ for himself, was able to place his finger in the(now healed) nail holes in Christs hands, and to put his hand in the wound in Christ's side! It's all in the New Testament. The real story though is that Christ came the 1st time for our salvation, when He returns again, it will be to judge His church. All those who have believed by faith in Christ will get new bodies-like Christ's, and spend eternity with Him in Heaven. For those who reject His Word, and His sacrifice will get new bodies too-but will spend eternity in Hell-separated from God. Like I said before-He does not force His will on us, He gives us a choice. When Adam & Eve ate forbidden fruit, and exchanged God's truth for a lie, man fell. That's why the world is such a mess-from our continued choice to disobey. But God gave us His Word and His Son, and made a way for man to be reconciled to God. I hope you choose that way. Look at your Bible-the whole thing-with new eyes! God WILL give them to you if you ask! Look for an Alpha Course, or a new series out, called "The Truth Project", by Focus on the Family. It shows you how science now supports the truth of the Bible! Pursue God, and you will find Him! Blessings!

Unknown said...

Christina, I've been reading your blog for some time. This post is the most beautiful and powerful piece that I've ever read from you. Really, really good. Thank you for posting it!

We're living out Romans 1, folks. God has given our society over to our lusts. Come, Lord Jesus!

Christina Dunigan said...

Frankly, I ducked for cover as I posted this, expecting a rain of abuse to fall down on me. I'm delighted that it's been so well received. I hope it gets people talking and praying.

Kathy said...


In light of what you've said about religion and feminism, I wonder what your opinion is of this article.